I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
where are my eyebrows?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
