Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
