I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
