i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
