Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
