So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm just crazy horny about you
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
