Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
