There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
