I think I died a long time ago.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
