How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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