What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am naked and annoyed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
