The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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