New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
