I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
