I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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