if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
