Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
