I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
