If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
