Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
