HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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