Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
