wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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