She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
