if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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