I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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