i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
