your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
