omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
