WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
