oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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