I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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