they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
