Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do vagina's smell?
honey bunches of taint.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
