what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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