I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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