Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
