Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
True strength comes from lack of pants
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
