i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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