You just made me feel so damn special
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
