YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
