he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
