Apparently you make a good broom.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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