all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
