ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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