I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
