the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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