Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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