Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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