and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
