I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
