was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
